09 October 2008

Loud Sex Guy: Bringing Loud Sex to a Whole New Level (decibel level, that is)

A few weeks ago, I walked by LSG's apartment and heard him being Loud Break-up Guy. A girl crying, asking "But why?", LSG, presumably, telling her why (perhaps she wasn't loud enough or worse - competed with his loudness). I wondered if the crying lady was LSG's LSPIC (loud sex partner in crime). Not long after that I saw him cozied up with some gal pal at 88, but as I'd never seen him with a chick before I had no idea if she was new.

I just came home from seeing a play with Merlo. As soon as I entered the building I heard panting and wailing. The other day I'd heard a dog barking from inside one of the apartments (we aren't allowed pets here), so I thought it might be the dog. I was hearing this, mind you, on the ground level. When I got up to the second floor, where the actual apartments begin, I realized the sounds were emanating from LSG's apartment. Now, obviously he's loud if I'm calling him LSG, but this was OFF THE CHAIN. There was definitely spanking, wailing, panting, groaning, oh godding, the "lady" may have been gagged or otherwise had her mouth covered as some of her cries seemed muffled. I paused on the landing for a moment to take it in, wondering if it was the old loud sex lady or a new one, wondering what the poor neighbors were doing, wondering if it was all a show. The noises followed me all the way up, I kid you not, to my fifth floor apartment, echoing through the hallways. I will miss you, LSG, when I move to a building occupied only by an elderly Italian couple who, I believe, sleep on separate floors.

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