30 May 2007

Um, hi, can someone show me the exit from this FUCKING SOAP OPERA??

Ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend-cum-best friend. I'm not kidding.

Mean emails, mean texts, false accusations, empty apologies, not so secret flings, getting back together, splitting up again, back stabbing, heart wrenching, conniving, unrequited love, emotional warfare.

I'm ready to get the fuck outta Dodge.

25 May 2007

"Sweetie, sweetie, meow meow MEEOWW!"

I'm always sort of amused when I see men unabashedly check women out. Like, thoroughly check them out. I suppose I should be upset by it, but it's just so ridiculous I have to laugh. Because it's like, impossible for them NOT to look, they're too weak to avert their eyes. This morning on my way to work I was walking about twenty feet behind a girl wearing a clingy little pink dress. It had a keyhole in the back so I imagine she couldn't have been wearing a bra, but she had some granny panties on for sure, as was made obvious by the bunched up panty line highly visible through her dress. There was a young man loading or unloading something from a van by the sidewalk; trashbags full of something. As the girl in front of me approached where he was standing, he started giving her a bit of a look up and down. As she passed he kept his eyes on her. After she had passed he checked out the junk in her trunk. While I watched this transpire I wondered: "Am I next?" from a purely curious perspective. I really wanted to know if I was up to this guys standard of checking out. I'm wearing a tight yellow sleeveless shirt, tight capri jeans, and was carrying a parasol. Is that good enough? I felt like Atreyu as he approached the Southern Oracle. "Am I worthy? Will I pass the test??" It turns out that I AM worthy, at least for this particular fella. He had started to bend over to resume his work as I started to pass, but he straightened back up. I kept my head forward, but strained my eyes as far to the right as I could to see if he checked out MY junk. And he did, oh he did. I almost laughed aloud right there in front of him, but I stifled it until a few steps beyond.

Just a few blocks later, around the corner from my office, another "gentleman" wasn't so secretive about his admiration. He looked at me point blank and as he approached and began passing me he gave me this little gem to carry with me all day, nay, all of my life: "Sweetie, sweetie, meow sweetie, meow meow meeeowww!", that last "meow" sounding very cat like indeed. Thank you, sirs, for making my day.

21 May 2007

There's Always Hope

I love surprises! I was noshing on my delicious tomato and avocado salad while sitting outside at Kenmare Square on my late (as usual) lunch break when my phone rang. And lo, it was Hope! She was in the city today for work, and not only in the city but mere BLOCKS from where I sat! She transformed an otherwise poopy day into a magical one in a matter of moments. I love Hope! I want more surprises like that. Give them to me!

17 May 2007

New York: Continually Shocking

New York City, quite possibly one of the freakiest cities on earth (Gibsonton, Florida, of course, takes the title of THE freakiest), a city where weird shit happens with such regularity that it becomes, well, almost regular, still has not failed to keep me in shock mode.

On my way to work, walking down Broome through the LES, I pass tons of delivery trucks dropping off (or picking up?) veggies, frozen fries, whatevs. These are the trucks that make my commute a living hell as they are responsible for the presence of the food that creates such a foul aroma. But I digress. These trucks are your usual New York delivery trucks, I suppose, all graffitied up. But in all my time walking this route to work (over a year now), I have never noticed this thing that I noticed twice in as many days. Turning the corner from Eldridge onto Broome I saw a truck with a little pink teddy bear strapped to the front. It was a bit dirty, mangy, but still quite obviously a pink teddy bear. The following day I lunched near Kenmare Square by La Esquina. I saw a truck turning onto Kenmare going east (I assume toward that nasty are of Broome) which had a pretty large sized stuffed bunny strapped to the front. Is this new, or have I just not been paying attention?? I consider myself a pretty highly observant person, how could I have missed this? Why do they do it? How do they pick what it will be? Do they replace them often??