Um, hi, can someone show me the exit from this FUCKING SOAP OPERA??

Ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend-cum-best friend. I'm not kidding.

Mean emails, mean texts, false accusations, empty apologies, not so secret flings, getting back together, splitting up again, back stabbing, heart wrenching, conniving, unrequited love, emotional warfare.

I'm ready to get the fuck outta Dodge.