25 May 2007

"Sweetie, sweetie, meow meow MEEOWW!"

I'm always sort of amused when I see men unabashedly check women out. Like, thoroughly check them out. I suppose I should be upset by it, but it's just so ridiculous I have to laugh. Because it's like, impossible for them NOT to look, they're too weak to avert their eyes. This morning on my way to work I was walking about twenty feet behind a girl wearing a clingy little pink dress. It had a keyhole in the back so I imagine she couldn't have been wearing a bra, but she had some granny panties on for sure, as was made obvious by the bunched up panty line highly visible through her dress. There was a young man loading or unloading something from a van by the sidewalk; trashbags full of something. As the girl in front of me approached where he was standing, he started giving her a bit of a look up and down. As she passed he kept his eyes on her. After she had passed he checked out the junk in her trunk. While I watched this transpire I wondered: "Am I next?" from a purely curious perspective. I really wanted to know if I was up to this guys standard of checking out. I'm wearing a tight yellow sleeveless shirt, tight capri jeans, and was carrying a parasol. Is that good enough? I felt like Atreyu as he approached the Southern Oracle. "Am I worthy? Will I pass the test??" It turns out that I AM worthy, at least for this particular fella. He had started to bend over to resume his work as I started to pass, but he straightened back up. I kept my head forward, but strained my eyes as far to the right as I could to see if he checked out MY junk. And he did, oh he did. I almost laughed aloud right there in front of him, but I stifled it until a few steps beyond.

Just a few blocks later, around the corner from my office, another "gentleman" wasn't so secretive about his admiration. He looked at me point blank and as he approached and began passing me he gave me this little gem to carry with me all day, nay, all of my life: "Sweetie, sweetie, meow sweetie, meow meow meeeowww!", that last "meow" sounding very cat like indeed. Thank you, sirs, for making my day.

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