23 October 2007

2nd Avenue Repaved, or, How I became Crippled

Right now, at this moment, 2nd Ave between 6th and 14th is being repaved. How do I know this, right now, at this moment, when I should be sleeping? I just witnessed it firsthand on my way back from dinner in Williamsburg. By the way, did you know that Bushwick Country Club has Jim Beam n' Coke slushies? Fantastic. Anyway. I became crippled on my way down 2nd.

It's my own fault, really. I should know better than to wear these heels. In my defense, they're usually fairly comfortable. Or at the very least, not that uncomfortable. I'm frequently accused of walking too fast (you know who you are, accusers!), and unfortunately I don't slow down any when I wear heels, don't shorten the strides at all, just power walk right along, as usual. If you can imagine, not a delicious way to walk in heels. I believe it may look sexy, but at the end of the day it feels like hell.

The thing is, though, I didn't really expect to be doing much walking tonight. From my apartment to the bus to the train, the train to the 'burg, and back, blah blah. But there was a glitch in my plan. See, on the way back, I have to get off the train at 1st Ave and walk to 2nd Ave to get the downtown bus. Already on the train I was agonizing over having to walk that block to the bus stop. I even considered going allll the way to 6th Ave to catch the downtown F, but that would be so lazy! But in retrospect, would have been a wise decision. When I got to 2nd Ave, it looked rather deserted. Oh look, there's orange barrels blocking it off, and in case people didn't pay attention to those, a huge truck parked across the avenue to prevent anyone from going down. Those bastards are repaving again! I swear to Christ they repaved 2nd Ave in the last 2 years. Or maybe it was the side streets in the East Village. Turning back seemed such a sad thought. I thought I'd have a better chance going down 2nd and hopefully catching the bus further down. Fool! As I hobbled along the avenue, I realized there would be no bus for me.

However, it was quite fun watching the spectacle of repaving, and the fools trying to cross the street. I could feel the heat on my skin from the freshly laid pavement, while at the same time watching some asinine girl and her douchebag boyfriend get ready to bounce across the street, just as the flattener roller thing was going to pass by. Like that thing in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", the thing that flattened the bad guy, what was his name again? And then Eddie, Eddie Valiant, threw a black hole on it so he wouldn't get squished? Right? It's been a while. Man, that Jessica Rabbit.

The repaving itself was enthralling. Most of the side streets were blocked by big trucks parked in the middle. There were a bunch of trucks full of tar lined up at the end of the line, between 5th and 6th. The trucks attach to this tar laying machine, somehow. They slowly dump their load (heh) through this thing that lays it on the ground and smooths it down a bit, in preparation for the flattener thingie. A bunch of guys walk along with it, but one of them has this broom type thing (you like my technical jargon??) that he uses to push the excess tar onto the wet tar side, so it can be flattened with the rest. After the truck is empty of tar, it detaches and another one backs up to the machine to begin again! Maybe it's more fascinating in person. I did actually stop to watch this, and it wasn't just because I felt like one of Cinderella's wicked step-sisters. I predict tomorrow will involve a lot of sitting at my desk, and not much walking around on my lunch break. Maybe just to Pearl River.

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